["Journal of Family Therapy, Volume 48, Issue 2, May 2026. ", "\nABSTRACT\nIn this research methods article, it is argued that the issue of ‘learning how to ask’ is central to both ethnography and clinical practice. The paper describes ethnography and participant observation in qualitative research, arguing that ethnography is an ethical, political and disciplined approach. A short history of anthropology is provided, including the colonial setting of its origin. The article then describes what is involved in carrying out ethnography, how material, often referred to as data, is accessed, and how this material may be analysed. The close involvement of the person and the body of the researcher(s) in these processes is explained. The article makes a distinction between anthropology, ethnography and participant observation in relation to how these capture the processes of everyday life. In conclusion, the author argues for the need to recognise plurality, reflexivity and sustainability in relationships between researchers and systemic psychotherapists and their interlocutors.\n"]